a little spring cleaning

I think it's about time. This blog, like so many things in my life, has been recently (and not so recently) neglected as I worried and worked towards the pressing matters in my life. I haven't left time for self reflection or other contemplation but instead have spent it all on other pursuits. I'm sorry to say that is my habit for more than one thing in life. When deadlines encroach and there are multiple agendas all working simultaneously but not in cooperation, sometimes you just do what you have to do to get things done. But no more. There has finally been time for a spring cleaning around here-- just in time for actual spring. The remodel proves it. :)

Today is Easter. The Christ is Risen! I think it a fitting tribute then, to launch spring around here on this day, the eternal symbol of new life. I hope I remember this. Ironically, I meant to practice a little discipline in self reflection during Lent and write everyday. Good thing for grace, because that did not happen.

So, I think it's time for a life-update. The changes around these parts have been numerous. I'm grateful for them all. There have been many moments with friends, in work, in fellowship, and thankfully, for rest. This semester has been a time of rest (or at least it was meant to be in my coursework), and contemplation. I feel comfortable recording a recent decision I've been afraid to make regarding my schoolwork. I'm going to finish my Masters in Theological Studies, instead of switching to a Masters of Divinity at this point. I postponed the official degree change for a long time, even while I was working on the coursework for the new degree, but at this point in my life, my calling does not feel firm enough to entertain the idea of three more years in study. With my MTS, I can finish next May and I can begin to consider next steps: living abroad, traveling, moving to Portland, another Fulbright grant. I'm going to begin exploring as I begin brainstorming/writing/reading for the thesis, so I will definitely write more about that. But most importantly, it's good to have reached an end that I can plan around. I'm such a planner-- not being able to envision the next years of my life (or envisioning them in static, un-changing and still) has been extraordinarily frustrating for me. Although I still do not know what will happen next, my active fantasy life will help me explore the options and make decisions.

It's interesting to evaluate where I am in life with where I thought I'd be. Actually, it's interesting to evaluate where I am in life compared to those I associate with-- who most are where I thought I'd be. It's good to know that while I thought I'd be where they are, I'm happy with where I actually am. You follow? I know there is a lot of possibility in each of my friend's lives, even those who pretty much have a plan to follow, but the possibility in mine, is absolutely endless. Endless. Instead of being scary now, or depressing, this is totally exciting. There are so many things I want to do in life, and I'm a year shy of being able to go out and do some of the more intensive ones. Am I concerned that while others are putting down roots, I'm interested in packing up and moving on... and on, and on? Apparently, a little, yes. But not enough to tarnish the desire or even the joy at the possibility. I've always been a very reliable, very safe person. But I don't want to live so cautiously that I miss opportunities to live into the plan of the Creator. With faith, some risks we are required to take.

And we are required to make changes, too. I think, the more changes I make, the more I will be ready to take risks. The more I learn, the more changes I want to take. The changes I've been thinking about and implementing over the last 9 months or so are all those that are currently funneling my thesis train of thought. I live in a sprawling urban area. I see, on a regular basis, 1) how wasteful we are; 2) how commercially driven all of our pursuits have become; 3) how disconnected we are from the earth, creation, and therefore, our Creator God. I don't think I have much more city in me-- because at heart, I'm not a rebel. At heart, I'm a follower, and a pleaser, and a person who maintains the status quo. It is only in Christ that I am moved by the rebellious. Because I have been here for nearly three years. And I see that I am wasteful. I see that I am commercially driven. See that I have become a consumer-- I buy, and I begin to see the world in bought/sold. And then I become disconnected, separated from God. I become lazy. Slothful. Gluttonous-- and the kind of person I never wanted to be. I feel like I have to change, and I have to leave (even if I come back) in order to buck the desire in me to be like everyone else in corporate America.

There are so many ways I could take this. I'm going to list a few so I can come back. Buying secondhand/handmade. Reconnecting with the earth by growing your own food. Supporting local agriculture by joining a CSA. Knowing where your food comes from- period-. The growing numbers of vegetarians and vegans. Handmade instead of store-bought. Making/Cooking things from scratch. Staying in instead of going out. Thrifting vs. Target. Ditching disposable products in favor of longer lasting and more earth friendly ones: Family Cloth, Mama Cloth, menstrual cups, cloth towels instead of paper towels, Nalgene bottles instead of water bottles, bringing your own instead of plastic grocery bags, hankies instead of tissues, cloth napkins instead of paper, real plates and silverware and glasses instead of paper, plastic or styrofoam; reusable snack bags or glass containers instead of ziplocs and plastic. Going organic (food), eating locally. Buying organic clothes. There are even folks I know who conserve water by waiting to flush the toilet... Each of these is a little rebellion to the culture that tells us we are all expendable; to wasteful ways that separate us from Creation entrusted to us, from God who created us.

Some of those I've already implemented. Some of those I hope to implement. I know that this idea of corporate Christianity isn't new. And neither is Creation Care. That's okay. I'm identifying something that separates me from God. So that I can reconnect. In thesis terms, I have found a topic I am passionate about and can actually consider reading/writing/studying for the next year (pending approval). And some of the things I outlined are subversive enough to 'American' culture that I feel like I'm taking a risk by becoming an advocate, which is very good for my 'play it safe' nature.

And that's the ten minute wrap up for now. It's safe to say I plan to be back here again soon, as I continue to work through these ideas. Plus, I've got camping photos/tales to report soon. Until then: some images of the change in the season to mark the changes in me.