growth

Today was business as usual. I went into work, took some phone calls, answered some emails. And then I was in a meeting, discussing the details of our upcoming new student orientation, when I was overcome by the magnitude of my personal growth over the last year. It seems that as each year passes, the progress becomes more significant, the pace quicker and quicker. And this year was no letdown-- no, no, this year was beyond my most extreme imaginations. This year was unprecedented growth and unpredictable change.

This understanding was all brought on by, as I mentioned, a meeting discussing orientation. As my boss and I tried to nail down the most finite of details, I found myself straining to recall orientation from the other side-- that of a student instead of a planner. And I realized that it had been just one minor year between the scared shitless, unsure, quiet transplant from Texas and the slowly strengthening, quiet, independent woman who has learned to bloom where she is planted. Just a year ago, I was recovering from dengue in comfort, readjusting to life in the US, exploring the newness of my first romantic fling, and getting ready to pack up my life and step out in faith, once again. Just a year ago, I packed my car to the brim, filled up my gas tank and said goodbye to my family again, with a destination in mind but no real plans. Just a year ago, I had no understanding and no clear idea of God's call, but I heard it leading me to DC. Just a year ago, I had no job, no place to live, no friends, no church, and no knowledge that those 1500 miles separating me from the place where I was raised and the place where I was going to grow up would become 1500 miles between who I was and who I am. Just a year.

And now, my circumstances are radically different: I found and negotiated my own position for my lodging, re-entered school and became a student once more, I found a job, joined a church, made new friends. I started paying my tuition with student loans, and now I am paying my own way through school and paying my loans goodbye. I once couldn't see the ground before my feet, but now I see the future. I have a plan and I have a desire to be where I plan in five years. I have a network, a community of people I trust, love and can call on to support me.

The orientation I attended last year was my first solo ride on the metro. I arrived late, did not understand the reaffirmation of baptism service, was afraid to trust the kindness of my classmates, and was COMPLETELY freaked out by liturgical dance. I sat in on my first UMC service, was out past dark my first night in DC, and met so many of the people who have become regular characters in my life: Erica, Drew, Sammy, and Craig. And this year...

This year, I'm planning the orientation.

How's that for growth? This stuff that God makes happen... you can't dream this up. It's so encouraging when you work so hard and can look back and recognize progress. It just makes you excited for the future.