on the go

Well. Like always, it feels like a decade of living has been done in the short few months between posts. I feel like as I get older, this only intensifies. This must be how we wake up as octogenarians feeling like we were just sixteen the year before. It's hard to eke out the focus to truly appreciate every moment as they all rush by.

I'm learning to be better about that, though. There's plenty these days that I still don't enjoy (class, assignments, work when I'm still tired, cleaning), but there are a lot of things to be grateful for. I recognize more the blessings in my life and am gratified also that those blessings are not tied to 'stuff' like they used to be. My blessings these days are people, and moments, and experiences and hopes that are inspired by all of that. It's incredible to me how the things I once took for granted are now the things that I desperately need to survive.

I'm still in school. Still technically writing my thesis, still attending classes (when I don't forget to go). Still living in DC. I moved, from my wonderful big house, to my own apartment on campus- and I'm loving it. It feels like most other things are still the same. But like always, it feels that time has molded a new reality for me. Constantly in a state of transition even if I feel the same, I have given up trying to adapt to the change all around me and now I just feel like life has swept me up, rolling on its own here and there and I'm floating along on the tide.

I suppose I'm in that stage of life where people begin making big life decisions. The kind that change the social landscape so intensely you might not even recognize where you are anymore. In the past six months, five of my dearest friends have gotten married. My younger sister is planning a New Year's Eve ceremony with her fiance (weird, weird, weird). Another of my closest friends has got a date tacked down for next summer. And two more close friends have shifted the language they use to describe their relationships-- into something serious if not altogether at the same stage as the others.

In the past six months, I have been to Georgia, Illinois, New York, and Florida for weddings. I have also been making fairly regular trips all over the place-- nearly half of all the weekends in the past six months have been spent somewhere other than home. There's been the weddings, as I mentioned, there was my regular trip home to Houston, which was eventful to say the least, and then there have been regular trips to either Binghamton or Carlisle to see Mark. I've been really on the go. No wonder I've been sick so many times this semester, or that I feel like I'm always either tired or going even though I don't actually do anything anymore. Poor Mark has spent 31 days-- a full MONTH in the last 5 months up here in DC or with me in Carlisle. And with his night job and my full time day job plus class-- It's absolutely no wonder neither of us feel like we have energy for anything else. When you add in time spent on video chat or on the phone, well. That is the answer to the question I've been asking myself: Why haven't I sewn anything in the past six months?

Allyson got married first, in GA in June.Jessica and Eric got married in June, too. In IL. These two are down for the count. Theirs was the NY wedding in October.

Erica had a very private ceremony (family only, so I couldn't attend), in November.

Diana married Kory in November, too, in FL. (Busted this photo out of the archives for real, yo)

I guess that is also the explanation for where the time has flown. The more you do, the faster it feels like time passes. I look forward to getting to a place in life where I can live slowly. Where I can take time to sew and can and cook and don't have to worry about scheduling time to talk to Mark. Where I can easily spend a lazy Saturday all at home and I don't have to feel guilty about the things I'm not doing in order to do so. Where a free weekend ahead of me: with no social obligations and perhaps not even having friends in town doesn't leave me feeling baffled and mopey, but excited for the creating I can do instead. For the walks I can take. For the adventures I can have in the city. But there isn't any of that in my near future.

On Tuesday, I'm driving to Binghamton to spend Thanksgiving with Mark and his family. The weekend after that, I'll be in Carlisle again, to go thrifting with Ashlinn. I've got two weeks before my Credo paper is due for Systematics and three weeks before final exams for everything. Then, my dear friend Rachel will be flying up to hang out and visit for the first time in four years! And then we'll be driving down to Houston together. I'll be there for two weeks before driving back up to DC in time for Sunday night Doctor of Ministry check-in. And did I mention that I'm introducing Mark to my family when I'm in Houston that week and a half? Yup, it's a BIG deal. And yup, no end to the busy-ness in sight.

Haven't seen this lady for more than a few hours since Christmas 2007-- when my niece was born.

I'm a little scared for where this leaves my thesis. I absolutely have to graduate this May-- I can't spend another semester in school right now. I desperately need a break and a change of scenery: four full years of working my ass off to pay for school and then actually being IN school has left me drained and ready to move on. It will be interesting to squeeze in other big changes for me in the next six months.

Mark and I spent Halloween weekend in Carlisle with Ashlinn and Josh.

But I'm sure wherever the tide carries me, I'll be able to find things to be grateful for along the way.