restless

It's nearly midnight on Wednesday. I'm restless and my mind is a million places at once, flitting to unrelated thoughts like a hummingbird tasting a field of flowers. I'm wasting time online, a Lenten no-no, but I can't seem to stop myself. I'm eying the clothes on the chair and thinking about putting them away... and then about giving them away. Then I'm thinking about how I still have just. too. much. How my clothes don't fit as well as they should. Mark's ukulele is sitting on the bed and if it weren't almost midnight I might mess around with it, trying to figure out the chords to Amazing Grace. All the while I can sense my growing panic at my academic responsibilities slated for tomorrow and I continue to repress them because my work responsibilities for the majority of the day felt so stressful that I feel like I deserve to keep 'relaxing'.

I can hear someone playing a guitar through the walls, making me think of Mark, making me think of Mark's song, 'It Made me Miss you.' I turn on some music, I check more blogs, I scroll through facebook. Oh, wow, she got married. She looked gorgeous. I always thought she was a really cool person, I wonder what she's doing now? I want to see Mark's face. He's so handsome.

Mark's coming this weekend, but I can't get excited about that yet because I have a midterm tomorrow and homework due for Friday by tomorrow at noon. Ugh. Avoid. I need to get those clothes taken care of before Mark comes. There's no way I can get those clothes taken care of before Mark comes. Good thing he doesn't love me for my housekeeping.

It's almost midnight. Dang, I have to be up tomorrow and at work by 8:30. My homework's due at midnight. But if I can just get through the midterm, I'll be done at 9:30! Then, Diana's coming over. Then Mark will be here Friday! Wow, March is passing quickly. Crap, March is passing quickly. My thesis is due in... exactly two weeks. Man, I have a lot of work to do. Avoid.

Amazon. I love Amazon. Am I still expecting mail? Just the mixer. From Pioneer Woman. Pioneer Woman is sending me a candy apple red mixer! I can't wait to bake! But, if Pioneer Woman wasn't sending me a mixer I would have bought it myself, because I did six weeks consecutively successfully! And I'm going to keep going. I wonder if I can hit 200 this Saturday. Mark will be here! Gotta get through the midterm.

Hmm... Back to facebook. Looking through old pictures. Dang! It's after midnight! My midterm is tomorrow. And I now have 12 hours to finish my homework for my Friday class. I can't wait for the weekend.

HELP. Please help my restless and scattered brain. Amen.